Various thoughts that have been tumbling around in my little head:

I told the woman who does my waxing about my upcoming trip and she sighed and said, "Oh, to be young and in love." And yeah, I'm both of those things. And I need to start appreciating those more instead of looking forward to the day when I can finally feel more settled. For right now, I am selfish and that's okay. I spend so much of my day looking out for the best interests of children, and yet in my personal life I'm not really responsible for anyone, nor do I answer to anyone. I do sometimes find that to be lonely, and yet this is the time that I am building my life on opportunities that my parents did not have. My life is entirely mine right now. I can work until whatever hour of the evening I feel is necessary, then go to the gym and stop by the store on the way home for a bottle of wine and something chocolate, which I consume while working on my master's thesis. When did I become middle class? Sometime between getting my education like the good girl that I am and cavorting around with friends who taught me to appreciate the difference between a merlot and a pinot noir (though they still can't convince me that it is necessary to spend more than four dollars on either.) My life is absolutely not a big deal to most people and yet it's one that no woman in my family has ever gotten to live before. Live in the city with roommates? Focus on myself and my career? Travel across the country to see my boyfriend? Do you think I grew up hearing about these sorts of things?
I was reading an article at the YMCA the other day about motherhood and the age at which it's best to have children. One woman made the argument for the early 20s. THE EARLY 20s. Are you out of your ever-loving mind, woman?! I'm all for the husband and babies, but when the hell are you supposed to have time to develop as a person? I hate hearing mothers complain about never having time to themselves or acting as though they are some sort of superhero for doing what the majority of women have been doing since the beginning of time (raising children and working, in some capacity or another) and I really think that this could be remedied by waiting until you are actually a fully-formed human being before you go trying to care for another one. Unless it's your goal in life to become some sort of breeding machine, I really don't think it would kill any of us to wait a few years (at least) before entering into a lifelong relationship with someone who will always, in one way or another if you're doing it right, depend on you.
And then here I am, getting all judgy about other women. We women are always criticizing each other's choices- when to get married (or not), when to have all the babies (or not), to pursue the career or not....I guess it's in our nature to justify our own choices since we have to face so much BS in order to get what we want, anyway. This is all very Women's Studies 101, by the by. And another lower-division general ed level observation: what a very middle-class white woman thing to do. We call each other out on our choices because we can- the operative word being CHOICE. We have it. I've joined the ranks of the white middle class women. Do I like it here? Yes. Do I realize how insulated we are from all the other crap that's going on out there, with the closest we get to it being Anderson Cooper from our wide-screen televisions? Sure. And I like to talk about how although I have definitely benefited from white privilege, and am now enjoying the advantages afforded by an education and a salary, I do not come from a cushy background, and that I've worked effing hard for what I have. Well, that's all true and good for me. However, I can't pretend I've ever had it really rough. I've always been well taken care of. People have always looked out for me, and taught me manners, and pushed me to try my hardest and do my best. I've never gone one single day without hearing "I love you" from someone, and generally from several people. And society overall is pretty nice to me as well. I'm clean-cut and friendly and non-threatening. People open doors for me and talk to me and give me free things. Even at work, which is the most challenging situation I have ever found myself in, students try to hug me and pat my shoulder and make me laugh. the world, for all of it's scary awfulness and meanness, treats me well, all things considering. And this skews my perspective. I sometimes forget that the children who are making my life hell on any given day probably did not come from a home where someone told them to have a good day that morning, or hugged them before school, or packed lunch for them. I may have a chip on my shoulder from always being the poor kid, and yet here everyone is the poor kid, and I've at least had parents who have always thought that I could walk on water.
Anyway, I suppose I'm rambling again, and on topics that I am always rambling about. So that's enough for now. Sleep.