Some of my favorite "Sunscreen Song" interpretations from my students:

"Don't talk to hobos. Give money to burn victims. Don't listen to advertisements (on the phone.) Don't buy anything on the Internet. Don't get your mom mad. DO NOT GO COW TIPPING. Don't eat before going on a roller coaster. Never say "what's up, homedog?" to people in Del Paso Heights, Rio Linda, or Antelope. Don't live in Del Paso Heights. Be good. Don't be bad. Don:t copy any jackass stunts. Be a smart cookie. Respect your elders. Convince your dad not to get married AGAIN."

and:

"I would like to tell you not to stay home when your mommy or daddy gets a new boyfriend or girlfriend. The new person is always dumb and rude no matter what anybody says. If your mommy or daddy gets a boyfriend or girlfriend, run away to Grammy's house. Grammy always has open arms for her little bear. Grammies love their little bears. I love my Grammy."


It's a damn good thing they crack me up so much.